Longarm quilting and snippets of my life

Dec. 22, 2009

We finally got the decorations up, thanks to Jim. My little tree looks good with all my Santa ornaments on it. And the rest will have to do. I’m not one of those people that overdo with Christmas decorations in every inch of my house. I’m a minimalist. But I wanted to have it feel Christmas-y for when my family comes over for our family gathering on Christmas Day. I got so busy making candy, making gifts, and shopping that I thought I was doing pretty well, emotionally. This will be our 4th Christmas without James. Different times of the year are particularly difficult, Christmas is one of those times. When I came downstairs and saw that Jim had started putting up the decorations, it felt like someone punched me in the stomach. It actually took my breath away. Damn, it’s really Christmas, again, without James. But just like getting punched in the stomach, you eventually catch your breath. You get up, dust yourself off, and you move on. I miss him more than I can ever articulate. But I move on. The sun has been so kind to come out the past couple of days, so Millie and I have been able to take our walks. I need that, both physically and mentally. That little fur ball has been such a blessing to me, even when she eats chocolate and needs a trip to the vet right before Christmas. <sigh> I’m pretty much ready for the big day.

I was happy to quilt one of my own quilts today. This is a quilt I made from a class with Lee Fowler at Ocean Waves Quilt Camp this past fall. I’ll take a picture of the whole thing tomorrow in the daylight. I quilted it using a pantograph called, “Bubbles” from Willow Leaf Studios. It’s a very bright, happy quilt and I love how it turned out.  I’m going to sew on the binding tomorrow, then I hope to make some progress on Cindy’s One Block Wonder quilt I’ve been working on for….a long time. It’s going to be beautiful when it’s finished. Only about 45 blocks to go…..

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Comments on: "Dec. 22, 2009" (3)

  1. Hang in there. Do only what you can and no more. Take a deep breath and hold James in your heart forever. Take one moment at a time.

    I’m glad you were able to Quilt your Happy, Bright Quilt today. I hope that made you feel better.

    Thanks sis, I couldn’t do it without you. You’ve been such an amazing support for me. Love you.

  2. TeresaL said:

    Carie, you are a strong and wise woman–a woman that I admire greatly. I’m so sorry that this time of the year is bittersweet for you and for the ache you feel in missing James. I wish I could give you a hug, shoulder a bit of the heartache or do something to help.

    You are an inspiration to me and a blessing to all who know you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Thank you Teresa. You help just by listening.

  3. Everyday is hard, the holidays are even harder.. Even though we both have another child it just is not the same…. I feel your pain, I know how hard it is to get up each day and put on the strong brave face…. We do our best and just breathe….
    I know how you just want to reach out and hug, say I love you, say I am proud of you, to just see that smiling face or even laugh at one of their farts, how well I know….. Not alot anyone can say will make it better but know that I feel your pain and loss, it hurts like hell.. Hugs to you

    Thanks. I’m actually a very happy person, and I have a wonderful life, a loving, supportive husband, and a son that I’m super proud of. That doesn’t mean I don’t get sad, but I don’t feel like I have to put on a fake smile. I really am that happy. I’ve had a horrific thing happen to me, and not a single day goes by that I don’t think about James. But my loss does not define me. It’s just harder on some days than others. I hope you get through the holidays and the upcoming anniversary of your son’s death a little easier than last year. That’s all we can hope for, is that it gets a little easier.

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